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why and how your partner hides your relationship

Uncovering stashing: why and how your partner hides your relationship

In the world of dating and attraction, new words are being added to our vocabulary. Over the past decade, terms like “gaslighting,” “ghosting,” and “love bombing” have become popular. These terms describe toxic behaviors in relationships. Gaslighting involves making a partner doubt their own mental health. Ghosting is when someone disappears from their partner’s life without explanation or closure. Love bombing is a manipulative tactic where a narcissist showers someone with compliments to eventually harm them emotionally.

And now, there’s another term to discuss: stashing!

Stashing refers to hiding your romantic relationship from the world

In the past, people mostly met through friends, work, or hobbies. This meant that meeting someone new would often involve mutual acquaintances. If you weren’t willing to get to know someone in this way, then maybe you weren’t ready for a relationship. It was also common for potential partners to meet each other’s parents before going on a first date. So hiding a partner from friends and family was very difficult back then. However, there were still some exceptions where it was possible to keep a relationship hidden, but not as frequently as it happens today.
Nowadays, with the rise of social media and dating apps, it’s easier for someone to keep their partner secret. This raises questions about why someone would want to do this and how they manage to stay under the radar in such a connected world. The widespread availability of platforms like dating apps has made it possible for people to meet others they wouldn’t have come across otherwise.
So today, hiding a partner seems more common than before when everyone knew each other’s circles of acquaintances.

Why would a man choose to hide his partner?

It’s tough to figure out why someone would stash. Everyone is different, so there are no easy answers. We can’t read minds, after all. But we can still draw some conclusions. In my view, there are three main reasons why a man might practice stashing.

Feeling Scared or Insecure

It sounds like your partner may struggle with low self-esteem and relies heavily on the opinions of others, particularly their friends and parents. They might find it difficult to handle any negative comments about you or your relationship. While this behavior isn’t ideal, it’s also not your responsibility to fix. It’s important for both partners in a relationship to have a healthy level of self-esteem, so that they can support each other effectively. Remember, you shouldn’t have to be your partner’s therapist.

He’s not looking for anything serious

He doesn’t want to publicly admit your relationship because he’s not sure if he wants it. This might be hurtful, but it’s not about you. He’s actually not interested in a relationship at all and doesn’t want to commit to anything long-term. If this resonates with you, consider starting fresh. Even though the truth hurts, don’t doubt yourself or question your worth.

He wants to have multiple relationships

Unfortunately, it’s often because your partner may already have another woman in his life. Or he might be looking to have multiple relationships without anyone knowing. This way, he can go out with anyone he wants whenever he wants and keep it all hidden from others. It allows him to lie without worrying about getting caught.

Are you a victim of stashing?

When you’re in a relationship, it’s normal to trust your partner and not constantly monitor their conversations. However, there are signs that may indicate your partner is hiding your relationship from others. This behavior, known as “stashing,” can be a red flag in a romantic relationship. It’s important to be aware of these signs to ensure the health of your relationship. If you recognize any of these signs in your own relationship, it might not be as rosy as it seems.

– Your partner avoids introducing you to their friends or family.
– They keep you separate from their social media profiles and online interactions.
– There’s a lack of public acknowledgment or celebration of your relationship milestones.
– Your partner is secretive about the details of your relationship when talking to others.
– You feel like your partner is trying to hide the existence of your relationship from the outside world.

You only see yourself at home

You used to think it was fine that you only met at his place, but now you’re starting to feel suspicious. Every time you try to meet his friends or family, he always has an excuse. You’ve asked him why he doesn’t want anyone in his life to get to know you, but he always comes up with what seem like valid reasons. It’s getting frustrating.

When you are together, you don’t go out

The early cozy movie nights and romantic candlelit dinners at home were wonderful, and you were delighted with them. But when your partner never seems to want to go out for dinner or spend quality time alone with you, it’s a cause for concern. Instead of getting upset right away, try suggesting something fun that you’d like to do together, such as going for ice cream, ice skating, or strolling in the park. If he continues to make excuses and avoids spending time with you, then it’s worth discussing your concerns with him.

There are never public displays of affection between you

If your partner avoids holding your hand or kissing you in public, it could be a sign of stashing. They might feel uncomfortable showing affection when there are other people around, but have no issue talking about your relationship in private. Watch how they react when you try to show affection publicly and remember that women can also take the first step. Keep in mind that some people are just naturally shy and it may not necessarily be stashing behavior.

Isolated from others

If you’re already dating, going out for a walk or having dinner is nice. The important thing is where it happens. It could be at a restaurant far away and hidden deep in the forest, or maybe he takes you 20 km away to go for a walk in the countryside. Don’t panic if he takes you further away for a walk or chooses a restaurant that seems deserted. He might just want to show you his favorite quiet spot, or he simply enjoys being in places far from the city.

Evidence of stashing

Some women get worried when their new partner doesn’t update their relationship status on social media or refuses to tag them in photos. This might be a sign of stashing, but there could be other reasons for it. Many people now prefer to keep their private life off of social media. It’s important to look for the signs and see if they happen often. Unfortunately, being stashed can make someone feel like they’re not good enough for their partner’s family and friends.

If your partner is hiding your relationship and not showing you off on social media, it can be hurtful. You need to talk to them about how their behavior is affecting you. A new romantic relationship should make you feel good, and being proudly presented as someone’s true love online should feel like a boost. If talking doesn’t work, it might be best for your well-being to end the relationship. It’s important to prioritize your mental health in any situation like this.

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